The problem is, everyone around me has boyfriends that are going the extra mile to make sure their girlfriends feel loved at this time. It was all too perfect in the beginning and I was fearful. recently,his uncle and fam went to visit them and its been quiet hectic for him with three energetic kids pestering him every moment. Surprising me with letters, giving me flowers and just little things like opening the door for me. he likes to live in the moment as he says. So I stopped doing that and now treat him like just a friend. He said hes tired or too busy. That didnt rlly happen he didnt last a day without me. Sometimes I dont talk to see if hell bring anything up, and the silence is too awkward and long that I give in and say something else. Im still waiting on unemployed from when I lost my ft job in Sept. My tuition for spring is late. And i blamed him roudly.. And he promised me that his intention was nit to cheat me and said sorry. Everything is fried up. Ive been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. Then he texted me to see how I was doing. We have a beautiful home and are dog and cat owners. By lack of effort I mean that its almost like pulling teeth to get him to plan weeks ahead to figure out when we will be able to see eachother. So, I hate to call him my boyfriend because he is late 50s and I am 47. I just requested patience. I truly dont know what to do.. Ive been with my bf for 3 years now and were expecting. I got back with my ex after months. My biggest obstacles are, if I make new friends or find a new boyfriend someday, how long before Im labeled as a b**ch and rejected all over again. Ugh. I know he loves me but weve talked multiple times about how I dont feel loved, wanted, or appreciated, and he just sits there and doesnt change. I even asked around to see if anyone knew what happened and no one did. He used to put in a little more effort Im confused. Recently I even paid half of his carnote because he didnt have the money until next week & I couldnt get my hair or nails done. Libido has infinitely dropped. Help. Thats the only way you will know how he truly feels. its just do not putting attention at all. We still work on a project together so its not like I can just cut contact entirely, which I figured might be the reason why he is continuing to text, like he doesnt want things to get uncomfortable between us. Need. This leaves us hanging on in hopes they will be that guy again. We never do anything spontaneous or fun, and Im the type of person who loves that stuff. Towards the end of September things exploded. FUnny thing is that he will get on a call with an annoying know it all bitch he works remotely with and chat. I love him dearly, but no lie Im confused & I dont like feeling confused. Or stay here and break up. But,to my surprise, his lil cousin(whos staying at his place rn) told me he was playing games earlier. He also is financially stressed and gets seasonal sadness (its winter here in Wisconsin) and I try my hardest to support his needs with it all but it drains me always having to take care of him while I get nothing in return except more expectations. https://www.bonobology.com/husband-does-not-give-me-attention He tried and invited me to a restaurant 2 times but that has stopped as well now. You arent asking for too much. And i just wish the fighting would stop, i seriously cant take. Its really hard, but Im trying. But he makes time for his boys and gaming everyday. This is literally me. The fact that you can recognize how unhealthy his argument style is, but he cant, means youre a mismatch. If every word out of your mouth is an insult, a critique, or disparaging remark, your behavior is toxic and negative, and no one, least of all your S.O., wants to hear it. He just doesnt make an effort to ask me to do things. Communicate with him without fighting. Then, youll know what to do when your boyfriend makes no effort in your relationship. He has motivation and spends money on doing that but what about me lol, he puts no effort into our relationship. Today he also told me that he was not ready to spend so much time on a relationship. He said hes always lacked that proactiveness even with his friends (which Ive seen firsthand) and admitted he let that be my responsibility,not because he didnt want to see me but because it doesnt occur to him to organise. it was only casual dinning places (only three times), other than that, we went out only for coffee. m tired n dont know what to do anymore! I absolutely abhor talking to anyone ever. What should I do? I still feel like he is lacking in effort in me and the relationship. but is a single text or a goodmorning too much to ask? I love him more than ever and I know I made the biggest mistake of my life. I MEAN EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN LIFE BUT I WOULD INSIST ON HIM CHANGING THE DRINKING NOW OR LATER YOU COULD BE LIVING MY LIFE. I used to take accountability for the frequent fights once they started. Be like, Hey, Im going to the beach or the zoo tomorrow and I was also gonna do this other thing. All relationships are unique. it took me years before I finally moved on. Instead of wishing things were different, practice accepting the fact that you cant change your boyfriend or make him want to spend time with you. Carve out time for conversation, get in tune with their needs, stop avoiding difficult chats, empathize with what they say, and listen to how they say it. It doesnt matter what words youre saying, the message is clear: I will tolerate this, as long as you let me explain repeatedly why I dont agree with it. The most important lesson Ive learned from my love life is this: My role is to set boundaries. A healthy relationship should brighten your day, not wondering where you stand. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Putting yourself in your boyfriends shoes is important when youre wondering what to do about his lack of effort. But even after reminding him of that, nothing happen. He works constantly and Im a stay at home dog mom (Recently weve been wanting kids). Watch YouTube videos on narcissistic boyfriends and you will know how lucky you are to be able to get away from him. Like, Ive planned 90% of our dates. Theres always a chance that this will trigger self-reflection, and he will crawl back, and you can decide whether to give a second chance. The one girl has sent him particularly sweet friendly messages on Whatsapp a few times so Im even more jealous than I already was. Then we signed our new real lease together and I dont know how we got where we got but he started getting lazy. Im in the same exact situation as u, word for word its very frustrating and I dont know what else to do to fix it. It sounds to me like hes not into you. He was not able to go back to school again because his government decided that no one will graduate this year. ive already told him my feelings about this often. when i make plans to go out tgt w him he will in the end cancel it and i feel so fked up. Works always. He texts me every morning and night and we often text during the day. Did your boyfriend stop making an effort because hes distracted or stressed about something else in his life? But he has never considered making me happy for once. I dont want to settle or compromise my own feelings anymore..And you shouldnt either. Back as a baby, he said the vet said not to let her sleep or have that on for a while because she is a labradoodle and it makes their hair very knotty and bad for their skin. My mom knew smthn was up so she said no to taking me. I love my girlfriend but I never know what to say to her. Let him come to you. Hopefully, these reasons will let you know the answer if you are wondering why did he stop talking to me. He now expects this but does not reciprocate. Maybe hes just tired from working too much? We had romantic dates and fell in love at first sight. Same thing happened another day and another. Don't assume he's pulling away because of something you did. I said we work on it or we end it. However, if my boyfriend was gaming with another girl I would have broken up with him. Its been almost two years and weve been inseparable ever since but lately it seems like something has changed. I suffer from depression and when we argue it can put me In to a bad spell of lying in my bed crying for days and he just ignores me. We talked about it seriously the 2nd year. He does not believe relationships should take work he doesnt want to have to work or make it work which is unrealistic. It can make you feel insecure like theres something wrong with you. If you havent recognized it yet, you are in an abusive relationship. Just because he misses a few phone calls or texts doesn't mean he is ignoring you." DESAFIO SINTONIA DA PROSPERIDADE: https://hotm.art/bMGvF75N I decided to pull back and just sit and watch. He definetly isnt prioritizing me. He snaps at me more now that we live together and anytime I try to bring up my sensitive feelings they are dismissed as drama he cant handle. So, literally, he gives me a quick peck before he goes to work and at least TELLS me he loves me. He says he loves me and cares for me but I never hear him talking of the future or wanting me to be his wife. God bless! Somehow I always felt that he did it because of something I did. It makes me jealous he could spend time playing games with her not me. This is good advice thanks, Ive been dating my boyfriend for six months now and its been a really hard couple of months for us. He did say that we wont be able to talk as much cause theyve got people over and he did apologise before hand but I really cant stand him disappearing during our lil catch-up session to play games,without telling me. Three weeks in he moved in with me and then the coronavirus pandemic hit and our romance took a nosedive. 2 years ago I started dating this guy and I knew then with him about a year and a 1/2 ago he made it clear that he still loves his ex wife but due to my health circumstances I had no choice but to move in I had nowhere else to go for me and my kids. Try not to get upset, irritated, or emotional. It only got better when the pandemic hit and it seemed like we wouldnt see each other very much although we live 10 minutes apart in different towns. He works a lot sometimes so I understand he is tired, but he always wants me to come over his house. I also pay all the bills, budgeting, grocery shopping. Weve been together for 2 years or so. When we are together he is so sweet and wonderful. He is so passive. Niw he say he is not happy, he ask if u cannot forget that incident how we continue this relationship, he say i dont know how tontalk with him, donot respect him, and now he does not make any efforts to fix our dying relationship. Always honest. Maybes its best we leave it and not have to try so hard with the next person. The Best Way To Get His Attention Is To Stop Giving Him Yours By Ossiana Tepfenhart Written on Jun 16, 2020 Photo: getty One of my exes was notorious for his im going through the same thing my boyfriend will not text me nor will he call me when i text him again he reply and said his mother getting on his nerve he goes to her house to take care of her he said he been going through alot with his mom very upset but my thing is what about me where do i fit into your life i dont even know if were still in a relationship my daughter say dont text or call him we been together over a year hes 52 im 55 what should i do im lost, Ive been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. When you get his attention, never hesitate to say your mind. Way you will know how he truly feels cousin ( whos staying at his place rn told. Or emotional try so hard with the next person a lot sometimes so I understand he is so and. 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he stopped giving me attention